With the help of Daphne’s supervisor who drove them around the cemetery, chats with the staff at the cemetery, and directions given by other exhumation workers, they found the couple as evening approached.
“It was definitely an experience, walking through partially exhumed graves and placing our trust in the other exhumation workers to find the couple,” says Daphne.
Establishing Trust
Before meeting the couple, Daphne and Diyana had tried to contact them through phone calls and messages. But the couple was frequently uncontactable. The social workers then decided to meet the couple at the cemetery to make them feel more comfortable.
“Rather than asking them to come to visit our office, meeting the couple in a place more familiar to them helped a little to reduce the power imbalance typically seen in the helping relationship,” Daphne explained.
After a two-hour conversation at the cemetery, Daphne and Diyana identified the couple’s needs and strengths (e.g. being resourceful), and explained the various forms of assistance available to them, such as a rental flat.
However, persuading Mr A and Mdm B to accept the assistance took more than just words of reassurance. The couple, being unofficially married and lacking physical supporting documents, was worried that applying for government assistance would be cumbersome and inconvenient.
“As such, it was essential that we gained their trust and address any misunderstandings before they would be more willing to work with us and consider our suggestions,” says Daphne.
Daphne and Diyana persevered in engaging the couple, and eventually, Mr A and Mdm B were touched by their sincerity. The couple shared more about their situation and were willing to accept the assistance for safe housing.
“It’s crucial that the couple did not feel judged but instead recognised our genuine intentions of wanting to understand their concerns and work out realistic solutions to address their specific circumstances.”
Daphne and Diyana subsequently helped the couple to complete an application for a rental flat at the Housing & Development Board (HDB) Hub – a major step in helping them put a roof over their heads.